Shook

I am reading this book tonight. On page 27 I begin to cry, my EXACT thoughts, feelings, emotions are written in this paragraph. It is the EXACT place I am at. I was shook to my core. This book is speaking to me. God is speaking to me.

"I wake to self-hatred. To the wrestle to get it all done, the relentless anxiety that I am failing. Always, the failing. I yell at children, fester with bitterness, forget doctor appointments, lose library books, live selfishly, skip prayer, complain, go to bed too late, neglect cleaning the toilets. I live tired. Afraid. Anxious. Weary. Years, I feel it in the veins, the pulsing of ruptured hopes. Would I ever be enough, find enough, do enough?"

Full day

The Pen

The week is flying by, and for that I am grateful! It's been a good, full week. We finally have a wonderful, AP family supporting doctor for the kids. After months of searching and asking around, he was right under my nose. The husband of a good friend of mine. I just didn't even realize he had a family practice. I am so excited to have a doctor who homeschools and doesn't vaccinate his own kids, what a blessing he is to our medical community!

Baseball is keeping Jameson busy. He love, love, loves baseball practice. I don't love trekking out to the field with 4 little ones, keeping them happy for an hour and trekking back, but seeing him so excited and eager makes it worth it. We have our first game Saturday. I am excited about the snack bar and bleachers, two things that soccer didn't provide. Bill and I are hoping that he likes baseball better, besides, baseball uniforms are so much cuter!

After last months bee sting reaction, we have to carry an epi-pen for Jameson. Even though his sting was on his leg, his was reaction was severe enough to necessitate an epi-pen. If he had been stung closer to his head, it wouldn't have been good. I've learned that bee sting reactions are more severe each time you are stung, and can happen in half the amount of time...pretty scary! We were told to administer it right after the sting, even if he doesn't appear to be having a reaction. The fact that there is a hive in our neighbors tree (which extends into our yard) makes me very nervous. I am hoping we never have to use it, but I do feel better having it. I need to show him and Bill how to use it, although I'm pretty sure Bill wouldn't be able to do it due to his trypanophobia.

We've been trucking right along in school. A few weeks ago I planned out the rest of the year. Mostly, so I would know when we are done. It helps you to keep going if you know you'll be out of your misery soon, right? Not that I'm comparing homeschooling to misery or anything ;) We should be done the last week in May. So excited! I have really enjoyed this year, but I will enjoy our summer more!

I'm back

(I really intend to blog most days, but it just never quite makes it to the top of my to-do list. I think I am afraid of not doing it "right", I couldn't even explain what "right" is, but I am going to blog anyway, I'm forgetting too many things I want to remember.)

Eleanor's cast came off last week!! It even came off a day early due to an abscess on her little toe, yuck! I had hoped that as soon as the cast came off, her walking would resume like normal. That is not so. She continues to walk just as she did with that horrid thing on, on her toes with her leg slightly out to the side. Everyone assures me that it will just take some time and she will walk normally, I'm not so convinced. I'm anxious about her Dr appointment tomorrow so I can get his advice.

Jameson is obsessed with flying. He asks me daily if he can sprinkle salt on his head to help him fly. I suppose they have seen Peter Pan a few times. He is quite serious when he says it, and think I just might let him try it one of these days. He won't believe me when I tell him it *probably* won't work anyway.

Funny Abbie moment...while folding clothes the other day she asks me"Mommy, why are all my things made in China??" I chuckled inside and then proceeded to fell slightly crappy. We talked about why, I gave her the 6 year old version.

Ada is sweet as sweet can be. She spends a lot of her day with me, she makes me laugh.
Just a normal Monday here. School lessons, lunch, quiet time, dancing and playing outside.

Happy Birthday Eleanor Jane

Eleanor turned one. It seems like she has been one for a while, due to her walking for the past two months and definitely not acting like they others at this age. She absolutely picks up on their behaviors! While I wish I had planned a super fun day for her, our usual Wednesday activities stole her day. It's a good thing she won't remember! My labor with her was really rough, and it is still difficult to look back and reflect, since it was really hard on me physically and mentally. I had 26 hours of labor, and I'm sure Bill was sick of me asking when it was going to be over. Indeed, it was eventually over at 9:05pm on January 5, 2010. Eleanor Jane was born into the water in our room and I was so relieved it was over. By now I had realized how fleeting those first few moments and days were.. Our amazing midwife has tucked us in bed and we went to sleep as a family of 6. It seems fitting that on the night celebrating her birth one year ago, I woke to find all 6 of us in that same bed again. Words just cannot express how I feel about Miss Nora. She feels like the soul of this family right now. The other kids truly love her, and I think they just know how special she is. Watching them interact and help her has made me realize that one of our greatest gifts is siblings. I am so thankful for your joy and life Eleanor, I can't wait to watch you grow this year!

Dish Hill

We had some good friends over, who have 5 kids under the age of 7. Add them to our 4, and it makes 9 kids age 7 and under. (In my little house I might add.) It was refreshing to spend time with a fellow homeschooling, Catholic mom who truly understands the joys and sacrifices of this calling. There was lots of food, fun and toys strewn all. over. my. very. little. house. Bill was super helpful tonight and climbed dish hill and conquered while I put all the toys back in their homes. I will be thanking God tonight for good friends, and a helpful husband.

Welcome Thomas

Thomas popped the question and Carly said "Yes." I am so happy for them! He went to breakfast with my Dad this morning, while we were having a girls shopping day. After receiving my dad's blessing, I knew he would do it right away, that ring was burning a hole in his pocket. I am so excited for them to be starting this chapter of their lives together. He is a great guy who loves her to pieces. May God grant them many years of marital bliss.